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Americans Should Definitely Be the Cops of the World

It'd be downright selfish to keep such fine policing to themselves

If recent events in the US show anything it is that we should definitely put America’s political class in charge of more of the world’s problems. What this globe really needs is for people of the caliber of Donald Trump, Nancy Pelosi, Bill de Blasio, Charlie Baker and Gavin Newsom to have an increased say about what goes on beyond America’s borders. Luckily there is a $700 billion military machine that can make that happen.

America’s politicians and security forces have made such a great job of running their own domestic affairs that they should definitely be the arbiters of affairs in other countries as well. 

The US military ought to make sure, with threats and force if necessary, that moral giants and geniuses with a golden touch in the mold of Pelosi and Trump are put in charge of such complex questions as:

Who is the rightful president of Venezuela?

Should Sunni Islamists run Syria?

Which is the rightful government of Yemen?

Should Bosnia’s Christians be allowed to secede?

Does Taiwan belong to China?

Who does Crimea belong to?

How to split up the South China Sea?

How to denuclearize the Korean Peninsula?

Who does the West Bank belong to?

When to regime change Iran?

Truly the sooner Americans are running not just the US, but the world, the sooner the world becomes a happy serene place in the mold of a quiet provincial American town, say Minneapolis.

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