UK Prime Minister Johnson Says This Is Not the Time to End Sanctions on UK

The self-flagellation must go on — the evil COVID spirit demands nothing less!

Boris Johnson has announced that starting Wednesday subjects of Her Majesty will enjoy the insanely liberal freedoms to “sunbathe in their local parks, exercise as much as they want and drive to other destinations.” Whoah, what will the Brits do with all that freedom? If you added the freedom to have a funeral or a marriage ceremony with over 15  people and Brits would have nearly 20% of the freedoms enjoyed by those anarchic North Koreans

That is just as well, as the police had declared it was losing its battle against young people sitting in the parks eating pizza anyway:

However despite the Brits’ new crazily dangerously liberal freedom to also sit down in a park and not have to be continuously moving the Prime Minister Johnson announced it was not yet the time to fully dismantle the sanctions he had imposed on Britain:

And though we have made progress in satisfying at least some of the conditions I have given, we have by no means fulfilled all of them.

And so no, this is not the time simply to end the lockdown this week.

The self-flagellation albeit in a slightly reduced form must go on! When the people of Britain have suffered enough for their past sins then the gods will again disperse the terrible COVID-19 they had sent as punishment. Perhaps when the GDP is blown up by another 5-10% and another 10,000 die needlessly from not seeking air or aid not being available for non-covid issues.

However, in Presbyterian Scotland, where they historically take matters of religion even a little bit more seriously, their High Priestess Nicola Sturgeon announced that there will be no drop-off in the intensity of the blood sacrifices to the spirits:

Nicola Sturgeon, Scotland’s first minister, told BBC Scotland that Boris Johnson needed to be much clearer that his proposed easing of the lockdown only related to England.

“Pretty much everything he said in that statement applied to England,” she said. There were no current plans in Scotland to reopen primary schools or building sites, or to suggest people start playing sports, she said. 

Sanctions on Scotland will remain in their unaltered form the Scottish leader explains. Tezcatlipoca expects nothing less. (So the C++ Oracle of the Imperial College had prophesized.)

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